nigel forage, tomes of london “broton of the year 2014”

“The Terror of the Zygons” originally placed us all in a pretty awful – even if fictional – predicament.  As Wikipedia explains:

The Zygons first appeared in the 1975 serial Terror of the Zygons, where they planned to conquer Earth after the Zygon homeworld was destroyed in a stellar explosion. One such craft, whose occupants are led by warlord Broton, crash landed into Loch Ness. The Zygons intended to use a Skarasen, a creature whose lactic fluid they feed on and was called the Loch Ness Monster by the general public, to attack an energy conference in London as part of a bid to conquer Earth for colonization by a refugee fleet. The plan was foiled with Broton and his crew killed as a result of the intervention of the Fourth Doctor and the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce (UNIT) while the Skarasen retreats to Loch Ness.

Let’s fast-forward to 2014, and the announcement that a certain Nigel Forage, a hardly fast-rising politician (he has, after all, been professionally at it since 1999 – with, it must be said, varying degrees of failure), has been named “Broton of the Year” by the rather weighty Tomes of London newspaper.  Some background:

The Ukippers first appeared in the 1993 serial Terror of the Bygones, where they planned to conquer Britain after the Bygone homeworld was destroyed in a stellar explosion. One such craft, whose occupants are led by warlord Sked, crash landed into Hyde Park. The Ukippers intended to use a Foreigner, a creature whose lactic fluid they feed on and was called the Cause of All Our Problems by the general public, to attack a political conference in London as part of a bid to conquer Britain for colonisation by a Ukipper fleet. The plan was foiled with Sked and his crew neutralised as a result of the intervention of the Fourth Estate and the British Intelligence Taskforce (BIT) while the Foreigner retreats to Poor Housing, Education & Health Care.

As already alluded to, “The Terror of the Zygons” becomes “The Terror of the Bygones”: as a result, Mr Forage continues to snuffle around in the ancient undergrowths of racism, cultural prejudice and bigotry that Sked helped – perhaps unconsciously – to unleash so many years before.

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Meanwhile, on a technical note, it’s clear the Tomes of London has been looking to emulate a competitor’s alleged inability to proofread content with accuracy:

The paper’s nickname The Grauniad (sometimes abbreviated as “Graun”) originated with the satirical magazine Private Eye.[145] This anagram played on The Guardian’s early reputation for frequent typographical errors, including misspelling its own name as The Gaurdian.[146] The domain grauniad.co.uk is registered to the newspaper and redirects to their website.

That is to say, whilst Nigel Forage is actually “Broton of the Year 2014” (at least this much from all the above must, by now, be clear), the aforementioned Tomes is reported to have accidentally published his accolade – where not observation!in the following way:

Nigel Farage named ‘Briton of the Year’ by The Times

Look guys.  I’m a pretty decent proofreader myself.

How about I help you – and the rest of us – out of this editorial confusion/misery?  I charge very reasonable hourly rates – and work very quickly too.

Also, I need the dosh, didn’t you know?  Christmas has struck, after all.

Yes?  No?  How about it then?

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