st(uf)f

In Spanish they say “¡Uf!” kinda when they mean “Goodness me!”.

When the moment is uncertain or, at the very least, a little unclear.

Today, for me, is one of those dayz.

One of those daze indeed.

I am still in Ireland.  I fly back on Tuesday.  This morning, I got myself a spoken-Irish language course.  It’s the least I could do, being my intentions are to continue returning.

I also bought a bad words book, as a treat and a bit of fun.  It’s always goofy to have fun, yer know.  Always goofy.

And goofy is good.

The only sadness in my life right now are bridges burnt, and not necessarily by me this time.  Maybe new bridges need to be built, or maybe they need to start from different riverbanks.

Only time and patience can now tell.

Only time and patience.

At least I have a singular purpose for the next year.  And at last my children will be able to say unequivocally what I am doing.  I do it for me in a way I have never done before, but even so I do it for them too so this will be possible for them.

For their pride and for their sense of self-worth.

If you’re interested in finding out more, here are the details of the MA I will be studying:

https://www.ljmu.ac.uk/study/courses/postgraduates/criminal-justice 

The opportunities are immense.  My life clearly is to change in so many ways.

I hope I am up to the challenge.

I hope – and trust – I am.

fun and aims: a story of loving recovery

It has been a strangely exhilarating day in Liverpool today. It has been for a number of days, tbh.  Maybe for months.  Maybe for years.

Only I didn’t have the means to safely confirm this.

Now I think my intuition is fair in the overall design if not the detail.  And I would be fascinated to know the detail sometime.  Well.  As soon as poss.  But only as soon as poss.

This evening is not an evening for asking for anything.  It is an evening for being; for understanding; for appreciating the fine intelligences of others; maybe of many others; maybe more than I shall ever be able to know.

And I do appreciate these intelligences – more than you will ever know yourselves.

Thank you one and all. 

Really.

For I am bewildered, even as I am happy beyond belief. 

And if I must be bewildered, because you think this wise, then so be it.  

So be it.

So be it.

i need to be with people, too … yer know?*

Learning ain’t everything in life.  Sometimes it’s putting stuff into practice, yer know.

I wish I could start doing this.

The universe conspires – or plots; or maybe kindly leads me off on a tangent to distract me – but either, or any, way I can’t quite make that jump to the kind of monetisable notoriety which wouldn’t half come in handy here.

So anyways.  I worked really hard today: done some decent photo-processing; learnt and put into practice stuff I learnt and/or already knew; could’ve done it better, of course; but equally, might’ve done it quite a bit worse.

But rather than all this art, I’d still really just touch the skin of a person I want, and who wants me, and who also wants to touch my skin, and wants to stroke me, and wants to maybe kiss and embrace me even.  And I can’t figure out why it don’t happen.

And so I ask the question, over and over.

So much to ask, me hearties?  So much to ask?

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* Talking of which, I had dinner by myself yesterday – kinda celebrating my daughter’s academic achievements; something I think I already pointed out on these pages.

Well, now you can see my first TripAdvisor: and it thoroughly recommends the place I ate at.  You can find the review here.  The photos they didn’t publish, meanwhile, below!!!

🙂

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